British Open Golf on one of their typically crummy courses

One of the questions interesting golfers is how will England's Lee Westwood play in the upcoming British Open - will he play well enough to be near the lead on the final day when he typically chokes or will he play so poorly that he doesn't even make the cut thereby depriving Americans of the joy of watching him choke during the second nine on Sunday?

Of course, the announcers will endlessly tell us that he is one of the best golfers never to win a major championship.

You can bet neither subject will ever change; Westwood will continue to choke and his choking is as easily predictable as predicting the media will lie to you about the putative greatness of links golf.

Choking and lying, it is what Westwood and the media do.

As for the venue, Carnoustie; it is a typical tract of crummy land in the British Isles in that it is a sheep pasture seemingly prepared for a professional golf tournament by two dozen retarted drunks wandering around aimlessly at nigh attacking each other with weed wackers if the conditions of the course are to be judged.

It is an embarrassing affront to American golf architecture aficionados. 

For well over 100 years, America has built the best golf courses on the planet but the ripe suck creeps who cover golf in the media - especially the writers for sports magazines who are given first class tickets to go and cover this joke of a competiton and who, once arrived, are kept hammered on singe malt scotch while being entertained by the hospitality whores of Perfidious Albion; braless women named Fanny and Bubbles, women who wear black fishnet stockings with no underoos under their mini-kilts.

Of course those creeps will write lyrical prose rhetorically waxing wistfully of tradition and links golf and all other manner of blatant bull shite while never leaving the local pub.

THOSE GOLF COURSES SUCK.

This is golf course architecture:

If the creeps, perverts, and drunks covering The British Open, the ones who try to propagandise the viewer that This is the way golf was meant to be played, are serious about golf the way it used to be played, then insist they cover golf today like they did back in the day.

Let them take a ship to England, let them bang out their ridiculous stories on ancient Royal typewriters, and let them live in some hovel by some crummy pub where the local blokes are making bets as to see which one of them is still sober enough to pee over The Parson's car.

The British Open is a complete and utter farce, played on complete jokes golf courses and if links golf was really all these clowns say it is, why don't they live there and play those crummy courses every day of their lying lives?

But, of course, they would never do that because nobody wants to play golf on those shitty sheep pastures; no, they'd rather move to America where we have perfected Golf Course Architecture and where American women smile because they have white teeth, not the baked bean teeth of the ugly flocks of birds in England.