ABS has been an Oakland Raiders fan since 1960 and he has become inured to their poor play and so he spends his viewing time mocking their incompetence because that is what a true fan of professional entertainment does. What, if you paid good money to listen to Luciano Pavarotti sing Nessun Dorma * and you ended-up hearing him sound like Lemmy of Motorhead, you wouldn't be perfectly within your rights to boo or mock him? The Raiders defensive front four plays with all of the disarming intensity, and speed, of an old lady painstakingly searching the shelves for a bargain at The Christmas Tree Shop. Two of this front four are rookies. One, Maurice Hurst, from the University of Michigan, is burdened with a bad heart and other NFL teams would not draft him. Of course, The Raiders drafted him because bargain... ABS calls him Dicky Ticker ** The second rookie is a player from a small school college, Sam Houston State College, and although P.J. Hall is short, fat, and slow
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