The Jet Propulsion Lab on Senator Grassley


We at ABE * Ministry visited The Jet Propulsion Lab in La Canada Flintridge, (Literally, Tough Canadians) California and we spoke to them about Senator Chuck Grassely.


In his eagerness to respond to ABS' question about the speed of thought of Senator Chuck Grassley, the corn-husking bohunk from flyover country, the white coated scientist,  Lieutenant Captain Sergeant Major Colonel, Tommy Budda Budda Gunn,  knocked over a large beaker of three mice that he was running electrical current into, and singed his lab coat on the flame of a Bunsen Burner before stumbling on a rubber mat, barely catching his balance before crashing into Amateur Brain Surgeon:

 ABS: Lieutenant Captain Sergeant Major....

 Tommy: Call me Budda Budda

 ABS: Budda, Budda, T'hell you doing boiling three mice in a beaker and running electrical...

 Tommy: We are conducting experiments on how to prevent blindness on long voyages in deep space but is that what you really wanted to talk to Budda Budda about?

 ABS. No, you are right Budda Budda. Here is the crucial question - Just how dumb is Senator Chuck Grassley; what is the speed of his thoughts?

 Tommy: O, good question. At the Jet Propulsion Laboratory we have been testing the thought speed of all men and comparing that with the speed of thought of all The United States Senators and we found Senator Grassley's thought speed to be alarmingly slow.

 ABS. Please, share...

 Tommy: Well, in the context of the human species, the electrical signals carried by the neurons can travel at, roughly, 70-130 miles per second as per the speed from the spinal cord to the muscles...

 ABS well, that sounds pretty damn fast..

 Tommy: Yes, it does; but that is for the average man. When it comes to Senator Chuck Grassley, we are talking a whole different matter - nearly a category difference - when you are referencing his, um, thoughts...

 ABS. Budda, Budda, can you reduce that sophisticated science into layman terms?

 Tommy. Yes, yes I can. The average man can think at about 100 miles per hour (Imagine a man driving a car at 100 mph) whereas Senator Chuck Grassley's thoughts are such that he would not be picked-up for speeding in a School Zone with the warning lights flashing...

 ABS. Budda, Budda, thank you so much. This research now makes it apparent why he was so easily manipulated by the democrats and repeatedly broke his own time table to accommodate his enemies.

 Tommy; Yep. He is so slow and dense we at The Jet Propulsion Lab are considering naming a Black Hole after him...

 * Against Basically Everything

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Jesus Christ and his toxic masculinity is feared by The Hierarchy

Image
Apparently that is how Jesus Christ is conceived of by the Roman Catholic Hierarchy. They are forever blathering about His compassion and Mercy because they instinctively fear that His Law and His Commands represents toxic masculinity. Toxic is the adjective used by progressive commies to describe masculinity because they hate and fear men. The Prelature fears it may someday actually have to stand before His Judgment Seat and be judged with right judgment and so instead of the masculine Resurrected Jesus Christ that makes professional soldiers cringe in fear the Roman Catholic Prelature (go on, identify one Prelate whose physicality, bearing, truth-telling, and identifiably masculine presence is objectively recognisable) is constrained to lie to itself and us that Jesus Christ is just a poor itinerant preacher or a resurrected version of a merciful  Percy Dovetonsils because the Truth of Jesus Christ is a  truth  that they can not bear to face. Jesus Christ was never, u
Read more

The failure of Bishop Emeritus Ratzinger

From the Nuke Bomb statement of Vigano.. Immediately after, the Pope asked me in a deceitful way: “What is Cardinal McCarrick like?” I answered him with complete frankness and, if you want, with great naiveté: “Holy Father, I don’t know if you know Cardinal McCarrick, but if you ask the Congregation for Bishops there is a dossier this thick about him. He corrupted generations of seminarians and priests and Pope Benedict ordered him to withdraw to a life of prayer and penance.” The Pope did not make the slightest comment about those very grave words of mine and did not show any expression of surprise on his face, as if he had already known the matter for some time, and he immediately changed the subject. But then, what was the Pope’s purpose in asking me that question: “What is Cardinal McCarrick like?” He clearly wanted to find out if I was an ally of McCarrick or not. When he was Pope, Benedict XVI failed to do what was necessary - Laicise McCarrick, turn him over to the secular
Read more