Hurricane Michael and windmills

Amateur Brain Surgeon, energy activist, environmental activist, and peace activist, has been hard at work running his predictomoter for the better part of an hour.

His conclusions:

If Florida had erected as many windmills as the goat herders, dog eaters, witches, warlocks, whore mongers, rapists, liberal lunatics, and cannibals of The United Nations said were required to combat the effects of the putative anthropogenic global warming crisis, then this hurricane would have  caused the windmills to spin so fast that they would have created a vacuum above the windmills causing them to suddenly lift into the air bringing with them significant portions of the Panhandle of Florida and then, as the winds calmed, just as suddenly dropping them and braining the old coon hunting coots in the mountains of Tennessee.

At least that is what ABS' weather models show.

And that brings up another point - why can't we call these events, Gale Storm, like we used to back in the day?

Yes, yes..it is a well worn rumor that her image appearing on the movie poster, "Forever Yours," was the inspiration for "Hooterville," but that is unproven and, besides, Hooterville was the town proper for "Petticoat Junction" which brings up the problem of Sam Drucker who had a lateral lisp.

Did you laugh at Sam's lateral lisp while also making a mental note that spelling lisp like that was cruel?

Sam Drucker could never say that word...

Don't you think Hank Kimball was a better character?