What will Hell be like ?

It will be like having to watch a nekkid Ruth Bader Ginsburg jump around on a Pogo Stick for ten million years while the Theme for The Benny Hill Show plays repeatedly over gigantic nuclear-powered Marshall Amps.

 After ten million years, Satan bursts from the stage wings and screams, One more time... and another ten million years drags by endlessly, at the end of which Satan announces that Pat Schroeder and John Kasich have been chosen to compete in the Hall Monitors of Hell competition.

 Satan declares that each candidate will have five million years to deliver, in excruciatingly complex and irksome detail, the finer points of their agenda, after which Satan will announce that the Hell Dwellers have one million years to vote while every single member of every SCOTUS ever, locked up in Hell's prison, continues to scream I object repeatedly.

 Occasionally, Satan reappears on stage to ominously warn, All of these details will be on your final...


At the end of one million years, Satan will appear and declare, Monaco has hacked the election and y'all must have a do-over.

 But, first, let's bring back Ruth Bader Ginsburg and he exits the stage after curtsying dramatically...

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