Pitch Perfect Politics

One of the questions interesting golfers is how will England's Lee Westwood play in the upcoming British Open - will he play well enough to be near the lead on the final day when he typically chokes or will he play so poorly that he doesn't even make the cut thereby depriving Americans of the joy of watching him choke during the second nine on Sunday? Of course, the announcers will endlessly tell us that he is one of the best golfers never to win a major championship. You can bet neither subject will ever change; Westwood will continue to choke and his choking is as easily predictable as predicting the media will lie to you about the putative greatness of links golf. Choking and lying, it is what Westwood and the media do. As for the venue, Carnoustie; it is a typical tract of crummy land in the British Isles in that it is a sheep pasture seemingly prepared for a professional golf tournament by two dozen retarted drunks wandering around aimlessly a...

The Science of knowing when to move http://www.lagriffedulion.f2s.com/hood.htm

For the tenth consecutive year, The PGA has awarded Justin Rose its most abjured award - The male golfer who most looks like a pigeon. After he had presented the trophy to an obviously devastated Justin Rose, PGA President, Paul Levy, was asked whether or not any other golfer had been given serious consideration. Mr. Levy giggled and shook his head in disbelief the question had even been asked  - Look, it isn't even close. Hell, half the time I think Rose will just walk off the course and follow any spectator who has a bag of popcorn...

Adam Putnam is the Agriculture Commissioner for Florida and he is seeking the Republican nomination to run against whatever commie creep the evil party produces. Putnam is running against Jim DeSantis a Stupid Party member of the United States House of Representatives. ABS was undecided about whom to vote for in the primary (well, he can't vote anyway because he is registered as unaffiliated) but once he saw what Putnam did vis a vis an out-of-control Controlled Burn, he knew that Putnam had the necessary incompetence required of American Governors. The damage was enough that scores of men were rendered homeless but it was not so bad that Lake Okeechobee had to be emptied to extinguish the fire. The media has yet to tell us what company it was that Putnam contracted with to accomplish the controlled burn but ABS would not be surprised to learn it was a personal friend of Putnam (that is how politics works everywhere) that he hired. AB...

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/07/opinion/charles-m-blow-sexual-attraction-and-fluidity.html What are the latest important thoughts from this aptly named man that have been flashed in front of the unfortunate reader of The New York Talmud?