The Palm Beach Post's florid rhetoric





Earlier story:
Florida stares today into the maw of an atmosphere unhinged, a merciless Cat 4 hurricane still gnawing on the limestone bones of the northern Bahamas after a day-long mauling.

If he was writing for the Post, ABS would have added this;

Fully satiated from its island feast, the massive monster slowly headed for the north of Florida for dessert and to uproot palm trees to use as picks to dislodge the bodies, fish, kelp, and debris from its gigantic sharp windmill-sized  teeth and as the dangerous and demented monster slowly waddled up beside the Florida peninsula it repeatedly crop dusted the coast with its furious and foul flatulence.


Forecasters said the last time Florida was faced with this much damage and destruction was when Janet Reno invited Star Jones to her annual BBQ gathering.

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